Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize