Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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