This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We're using joints as your birthday candles
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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