my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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