He uses pillows to masturbate.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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