Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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