I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize