we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
