so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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