my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize