oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
