i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
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Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
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I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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