woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
