I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It's blow job season.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
