To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
