I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
