I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
