Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
