I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
