I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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