I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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