Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize