OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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