Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize