I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
