i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
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