Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
