we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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