I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
