At least make sure they are 18
Why
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
