D3 body, D1 cock
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She bit a glass in half.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
