Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
