Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
