please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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