Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
are you still at the devil's house?
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
