well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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