So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
