Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize