Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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