Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize