So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize