Duck Duck Cougar?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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