Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
