chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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