i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
