I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Did I show you my penis last night?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
