yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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