like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm bleeding and have questions
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
