I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
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Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
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Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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