I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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