It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
