i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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