Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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