Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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