I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize