I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
