So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
birth control should be required to get into college
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
