I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
