How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
