i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
