i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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