u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
