last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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