grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
