Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize